5 Reasons You Should Never Settle Down
Originally posted on James Michael Sama:
As I sit here to write this article, I’m in our hotel room overlooking the beach. The waves sound so close you feel like you can put your hand out the window and touch them. My girlfriend is making coffee. Her tanned skin is accentuated even further by the stark white walls. The rays of sun are coming through the blinds signaling a new day has begun. Michael Bublé is permeating the room from my laptop speakers.
Next to me on the table is this month’s copy of Esquire, the cover of which is beckoning us with “84 Things A Man Should Do Before He Dies.” And I sit here thinking to myself – no matter how many failures I face or how hard life becomes, I refuse to settle.
You can settle for less than you deserve in many areas of life. A job you can’t stand going to. A man or woman you don’t know why you’re waking up next to, a car you hate getting into – but let’s talk about relationships, and why you should never, ever, settle for less than you deserve.
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You’ll always be doubting yourself.
Why is it, exactly, that you can never decide if you’re actually happy or not? Maybe you’re content…comfortable…but are you happy? I don’t know. Could you do better? If you could, then why aren’t you? Is this it? Really…is this as good as it gets?
Self doubt is crippling. It follows you around in life like your shadow, and there never seems to be enough shade to shake it. If you settle for less than you deserve in a relationship, never having the freedom to truly be happy and let go of worry will haunt you.
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You’ll never be truly fulfilled.
Part of the beauty of having ambitions, goals, and dreams in life is to have someone to share in them with. A partner, a teammate, someone to support and encourage you when times get rough, and to celebrate with you on the brighter days.
That’s not to say you can’t be fulfilled and happy if you’re single, of course you can. But the worst of all, is being with someone who does none of these things for you. Someone who is discouraging, or lazy, or doesn’t support you. Someone you’re planning a future with who has no future plans for themselves. Each step of life will feel like you’re pulling a little anchor behind you (ball and chain, anyone?). An asterisk on every accomplishment. The inability to wake up each morning and feel truly fulfilled.
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You’ll be missing pieces of the relationship puzzle.
Certain things we can learn through the advice and experiences of others. From observing and absorbing lessons. But certain things, we must feel for ourselves before we truly understand.
One of the experiences I needed to have before I learned, was what it’s like to “date” someone’s family. After over 3 decades of marriage, I’ve stopped seeing my parents’ families as “mom’s side” or “dad’s side,” but just…family. I think when you’re with someone you really care about, you sort of become part of everything. You want to. You talk to their parents and they talk to yours. You go on trips together, you feel accepted.
If you are with someone who you’re not truly happy with, there will always be a piece missing. Maybe you get along with their family better than you get along with them. Maybe you don’t get along with them at all. Maybe you just honestly couldn’t care less either way.
For those without an intact family, substitute their friends in the concepts above, and it still works out the same.
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You won’t grow as much as a person.
Another great thing about having someone as part of your life is the lessons they can teach you. The new perspectives and outlooks that you would’ve never thought of before. The new experiences you can share in together – maybe things you wouldn’t have done without them.
If you settle into a relationship just for the sake of having someone, you will be defeating this purpose altogether. While there will be someone in your life, the insatiable thirst for life won’t be there. Waking up and going through the motions of daily life is merely existing, not truly living. You deserve someone who will add new logs of wood onto your fire for life, not someone who throws water onto it.
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You won’t feel real passion.
To steal a line from Dreams For An Insomniac – “Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; love shouldn’t be one of them.”
When you are attracted to someone’s looks and appearance, there is intensity. But when you are attracted to someone’s spirit, their soul, their whole being, there is real passion. If you settle for less than you deserve or want in a relationship, you are robbing yourself of the real passion that comes along with it.
Life is too short for average. Plus, it’s just as close to the bottom as it is to the top.
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Settling for less than you deserve in a relationship is like filling your bathtub with happiness, but your partner is always poking holes in the floor without you realizing it. Building a solid foundation with someone will always feel like an uphill battle, only you won’t be able to see the summit.
Life is about progress and forward motion – don’t give your time to someone who hinders yours, you can never get any of it back.
Original Source : http://jamesmsama.com/2014/03/25/5-reasons-you-should-never-settle/
Credits : James Michael Sama
Flaunting a scorching signature style without comparison, rising Detroit rapper Skilla Baby unleashes his anxiously awaited new project The Coldest. Across 16 tracks, Skilla Baby levels up from every angle. Production credits on the project include the likes of Southside, MIA JayC, Ben Billions, TooDope, and more. Skilla teased the standout leading single Free Meech, then followed up with an official video. Paving away for the new body of work, Skilla spoke on the project:
I took my time to put this project together… Sometimes, I feel like people try to place me in a box. The pressure of being a new artist, being successful, staying disciplined, and still clocking into the studio is very strenuous, but fun at the same time. As an artist, I’m known as the ‘Girl’s guy.’ But I’ll never forget I come from the streets. As a real person, I feel so many emotions (mad, sad, happy, anxious, etc.). I say that to say, sorry for the wait but I wanted to put everything I feel into one project. Grab your coats…
Next up, the Vultures Eat The Most Tour takes him across the country on his most extensive jaunt yet. Headlining the tour with Rob49, you can see him featured on the single Mike Jack with G Herbo. Look for tickets near you here because you don’t want to miss the energy of a street demon taking no prisoners. Stream your copy of the project here and let us know your thoughts on the visuals below. As more media outlets take notice, stay connected with Skilla Baby by following him on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.
KOKO’s music is a testament to her international background. Hailing from Finland and spending part of her life in Brussels, Belgium, she brings a blend of Northern European sophistication and Middle European jazz and funk to her music. It’s this eclectic mix that sets her apart, making her sound a breath of fresh air in the New York scene.
KOKO mentions her fondness for the jazz and funk she experienced in Brussels, stating, “I definitely have like funk elements in my music, especially from the time when we lived in Brussels, because we went to see like a lot of jazz, for example, at all times.” This richness in artistry isn’t just serendipitous; it’s intentional and a core part of who she is as an artist.
The New York City Metamorphosis
Moving to the epicenter of varied artistic expression, New York City, KOKO continued to evolve her craft. It’s here that she found the latitude to further her studies in sound engineering and delve deeper into the music world. Attending SAE Institute of Technology was a decision that would shape her future, immersing her in a community that lives and breathes sound.
Yet, it isn’t just about the music for KOKO. It’s about being “in motion,” as she refers to her debut LP, aptly titled “Coco Motion.” This project encapsulates her experiences and growth during her time in the States. Each song represents a timestamp, chronicling her evolution from an international student to a New York artist. “It’s like a timeline, almost like how my journey has been here,” she reflects.
The Beacon of Self-love and Empowerment
Amid the beats and melodies, there’s an underlying narrative in KOKO’s music: the importance of self-love and empowerment. These are not just themes but the lifeblood of her creative expression. KOKO is on a mission to inspire, guide, and remind listeners of their inherent worth and capacity for love.
She doesn’t shy away from her advocacy for mental health, recognizing its significance in today’s society. For KOKO, music is a medium for healing and spiritual growth. “My sound is conscious pop,” she says, signaling the reflective quality of her songs and their purpose to resonate on a deeper level with her audience.
As we recap the indelible impression KOKO has made in her interview with Shah Cypha, it’s clear that her trajectory is not simply one of personal ambition but also of universal resonance. Her music, imbued with both her Finnish and Brussels-influenced roots, has found a nurturing home in New York City, blossoming into a soundtrack of self-development and positive vibrations. With a firm stance on female empowerment and mental health, KOKO’s presence in the industry goes beyond entertainment; it’s a catalyst for transformation and healing. Her upcoming LP, “KOKOmotion,” is set to ripple through the collective consciousness, reminding us all to stay in perpetual movement toward our highest selves.
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