Is It Really Real?
Somewhere along the way we decide who we are and what our lives are going to be about. Nothing wrong with that, right? The problem comes when we create a substitute life or an image that we present to the world (and to ourselves) that is not real.
The substitute life is made up of the identities, judgments, expectations and assumptions we develop to deal with life as we see it. We want people to see us a certain way, we want to avoid certain situations, we want to control what happens and what doesn’t. Over time we develop coping mechanisms and defensive walls to protect the image of this substitute life.
Let’s say you are naturally very sensitive and as a child you are repeatedly told that it is not acceptable to be this way.
The more you are admonished, rejected and teased for being sensitive, the more deeply ingrained your beliefs become about what you need to show and what you need to hide in order to get by.
This is the beginning of the substitute life.
Maybe you hide your sensitivity to feel safe. Maybe you start trying too hard to be the opposite of sensitive and you become aggressive or mean-spirited. Maybe you become excessively cheerful, acting as if nothing bothers you, everything is funny. Whatever it takes to cover the inadequacy that is built up from being constantly rejected for being your natural self.
In any case, we weave together these beliefs and strategies — all based in thought and ego — to create a picture of an artificial life. A life where we can’t be completely authentic and still feel safe and still thrive. The more we believe in this artificial life, the more we struggle to accept life as it really, really is with all its imperfection and uncertainty.
In this example, the truth is that you are sensitive so any life you lead where you pretend not to be, is a substitute life. Any life you lead where you are denying your true nature and circumstances is a substitute life and it moves you further away from your purpose.
Make a list of all the images, identities, judgments, and expectations that make up your substitute life. Think of it as your “should’s” and “supposed to’s”. List as many as you can.
E X A M P L E:
I’m supposed to get married and have children.
I’m supposed to be loud and aggressive.
I’m supposed to put everyone’s needs before my own.
I’m supposed to believe what my parents believe.
I should be happy with what makes others happy.
I should do what others expect me to do.
I should diminish myself to make others feel more comfortable.
I should never show my vulnerable side.
After you make your list, look at the decisions you’ve made about who you are supposed to be and think about how these decisions are altering your life experience. Let’s keep this going!
Not everyone can be a winner. Detroit native and hip-hop sensation 42 Dugg is back with a fiery new single, Win Wit Us. The track, a precursor to his highly anticipated album 4eva Us, Neva Them, showcases Dugg’s signature style and lyrical prowess. In the brand new single, produced by FLEXONTHEBEAT, TyMaz, and Marshak, Dugg calls out those who try to ride his wave without putting in the work, cementing his stance in the rap game. The release is accompanied by an official music video directed by Counter Point, where Dugg and his crew dominate the streets and clubs of Detroit, visually reinforcing his message of loyalty and resilience. Dugg raps in the hard-hitting track:
All of sudden they wanna win wit us / But ain’t spin with us.
Dugg previously teased this new era of his music with a trailer featuring Hill Harper, further building anticipation among his fans. “Win Wit Us” follows a series of recent hits including Wock N Red, SpinDatBac, and Go Again. Earlier this year, Dugg made a triumphant return to the stage with a sold-out “Welcome Home” show at Detroit’s Little Caesars Arena, featuring appearances by superstars like Meek Mill, Yo Gotti, Lil Baby, and more. Notably, the event saw Dugg unite Detroit’s rival hip-hop factions, Doughboyz Cashout and Team Eastside, in a historic move to end the city’s East-West beef. Fans can expect even more groundbreaking music from Dugg as he gears up for his upcoming album. Don’t miss out on the latest single available for streaming here and watch the music video below. Link up with 42 Dugg on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.
Indianapolis’ own Reckless Rhymacide has just released his latest track, “It’s Yo Birthday,” produced by the renowned Whodunit Beats. This fresh spin on the classic “Happy Birthday” song brings a catchy vibe, making it a perfect fit for nightclub atmospheres and adult birthday parties. With its catchy beats and modern twist, the track is set to become a staple for birthday celebrations everywhere, offering a new, exciting way to mark the occasion.
Reckless Rhymacide’s “It’s Yo Birthday” showcases his unique flair for blending contemporary sounds with familiar themes, ensuring the song resonates with a wide audience. Whodunit Beats’ production enhances the track with deep, rhythmic basslines and sleek instrumentation, creating an immersive experience that draws listeners in. As the song gains traction, it’s poised to redefine how birthdays are celebrated, combining tradition with a fresh, energetic sound that captures the essence of today’s music scene.
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